“I’m very fond of You, Jesus…”
“When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.” ~ John 21:15-19 (ESV)
Jesus uses the word ἀγαπάω agapaō translated “love” which means “to love dearly” in verses 15 & 16. Jesus challenges Peter’s answers. Now, in verse 17 Jesus uses a different word. Knowing Peter would grieve and be offended at the being asked a third time, He says, “Simon, son of Jonas, are you fond of me?” φιλέω phileō, which means “to love affectionately as a friend.”
Noting this, observe what word Peter uses in response to Jesus. In verse 15 Peter says literally, “you know that I am fond of you.” Φιλέω phileō. Again in verse 16, Peter says the same thing, “O Lord, you know that I am fond of you.” Φιλέω phileō. The third time Jesus asks Peter, he responds, “O Lord, you know all things, you know that I am fond of you!” Φιλέω phileō.
The reason Jesus asks Peter three times is to determine if he really loved Jesus above all else. Jesus asked Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” Jesus wanted Peter to understand the difference in what He expected from him, and where Peter was in his heart.
Being a disciple is to love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and your neighbor as yourself – and also to love God above even your neighbor to the point where you would give your life for His sake (vs. 18-19).
In The Hands of the Refiner 